Yesterday was not a good day at work. Without going into too much detail, let me just say that I was in tears after the phone conversation with this person. Their frustration with an issue was at an all time high and I was the only person they could reach. Unfortunately I was not the one who could help them, which is not what they wanted to hear. I was able to reach my boss while she was traveling and she contacted him. She was sorry I was subjected to his tirade. It made me feel better–sort of.
I am used to dealing with unhappy people, as I was a supervisor and had all the pissed off people transferred to me to deal with. I learned that the best thing to do is let them vent and when they are done ask what they want me to do. Which I did in the scenario above–through gritted teeth as I tried not to start crying on the phone. What was going on?
I went painting Tuesday night, thinking that some creativity would make me feel better. Well, my creative juices must have all dried up because I struggled through the whole class, was beyond frustrated, and in the end did not like my grey painting. It was supposed to be a wintry scene I guess, with pops of reflective gold paint. All I saw was the color of the snow on the side of the freeway after the snowplows push it to the shoulder. Yuck. I left the class as soon as it was over, as I didn’t want any pictures of my “disaster”, and again I was close to tears. What the hell?
I came home sobbing and my husband probably thought I was in an accident. I explained how I barely made it through the painting. He asked me why I was crying. I honestly couldn’t tell him. He just held me and told me everything was going to be all right. I yelled that something had to be wrong, as I felt like I was breaking. I went to bed.
As I reflect on my day, I can think of a few things that led me to the breaking point:
- I just got back from vacation and was very busy at work.
- I still wanted to be on vacation.
- I came back from said vacation with ear pain, and while the doctor said it wasn’t an infection, it still hurt like hell.
- That same doctor told me my blood pressure was high, which I scoffed at. Until she showed me the computer screen of the last year or so. Gulp.
- My family has a long history of high blood pressure and medication to treat it. I don’t want to go on medication. She told me to eat less salt and less calories. That equaled DIET to me, a sore subject for the majority of my life. One step at a time I told myself.
- Monday I worked a full day, saw the doctor, then was at school until 10:30 at night. I was tired.
- I was overwhelmed-work, school, my own business, social commitments, potential health issues.
It was a shitstorm for sure. It happens from time to time. I was determined not to remain mired in the negativity. I had to DO something.
Step 1…I woke up this morning determined to banish that grey. I pulled out my paints and covered my entire picture with white paint. I then painted a colorful sunrise with trees reflecting in the water. I used just about every color paint I had. The trees didn’t look the same in my new painting, but I told myself nature is like that. I felt better. Kudos to my friends who all said they liked my old painting too. It just didn’t resonate with me. I have done over 50 paintings and they are all super colorful. The grey one ended up reflecting my bad mood. I knew if I left it alone it would be a reminder of my awful day at work.
Step 2…I downloaded an app on my phone called “Lose It!” and have started tracking my food intake. I went through my crock pot recipes and went to the grocery store. I stocked up on vegetables for rice bowls (which I love) and ingredients for at least 4 crock pot meals. One change at a time. This week the focus is on cooking more and eating out less. I am motivated by my desire to NOT be on medication.
Step 3…with my back issues, I have been not going to the gym, but instead seeing my chiropractor. Not working out for over a month has been a serious bummer, but my back feels a lot better. I see my chiropractor tomorrow and I am going to find out when I can go back to the gym and what I can do. I need workouts back in my life!
Step 4…establish priorities. Work is going to happen, so I can’t really change that. School just started, so my homework is low, but I have to drive an hour round trip 3 days a week for class. I love school, so the driving is a sacrifice I am willing to make. Health issues addressed in #2 and #3. I am looking forward to a low key weekend, and they are forecasting snow, so maybe Mother Nature is determined to help me out. As far as my own business, I have a lot of thinking to do. It is a labor of love, but when it becomes just labor, I will have decisions to make. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
It is likely you will have a day like mine. Maybe you are still stewing over a bad day that happened a while back. I say to you, spend some time in reflection, then develop a plan. Spend your energy moving forward instead of remaining in idle, or possibly reverse. Take the wisdom, stand tall, and forge on!
Just typing this all out is making me feel better. More in control. A woman with a plan. I won’t let one craptastic day ruin my week. I will go forward and conquer!
Well, as soon as I turn my shirt around–I just realized the tickling on the front of my neck is the tag. Yesterday I would have cried, today I just laughed. On the road to recovery!